"People have told me they've never talked about how they wanted sex, where they wanted it, and when they wanted it." The good news?
Shortcomings can be remedied and the lines of communication opened, experts say, if both partners are willing to work on it, change some bad habits, and talk, talk, talk.
On the other hand, if you put enough time and effort and care into it, it’s not unrealistic to expect a good dining experience.
So, when it comes to sex, clearly it’s unrealistic in long-term relationships to expect the kind of heat and desire and passion that we typically experience in the early days of a relationship and in our youth.
First, it's vital to understand why it is so difficult to talk about sex in the first place. Co-authors of the Brodys make it clear that learning to talk intelligently about sex is doable, not impossible.
But deep down, most people are conflicted, at least a little.
You could say, “What’s realistic to expect from a meal?
"I see couples married 20 or 30 years and they're still having problems, says psychologist Linda Carter, director of the Family Studies Program at New York University Medical Center.
Medical and behavioral scientists have said this for years, based on their clinical experience.
And a recent survey of 200 people conducted by the Midwest Institute of Sexology in Southfield, Mich., strongly suggests they're right.
Nearly 9 in 10 men in relationships with women reported serious problems articulating their needs and desires.
Of the women respondents in heterosexual relationships, half reported some difficulties articulating their needs and desires when talking to their partners about sex.
What is it, based on your experience with clients, that people most want from sex?