Through my circle of friends and single moms I meet through this blog, I often hear cries of horror about the thought of single mom dating. What man in his right mind would date someone with so much baggage? Whether the single part was by way of divorce, breakup, death or choice, it was a big deal, and that changed you. I have lunches to make and doctor appointments to schedule. Busy single moms have fewer lonely nights to fill, fewer dinners eaten alone.
My single-mom body is a wreck and I haven’t been on a date in 15 years! I am also far less critical of other people, including men. 3) You’ve faced the reason-defying triumphs that are required of single motherhood.
"You know that you're 'meant to be' single if you're comfortable, content, and don't long for a spouse," she says. "If it's in your nature to enjoy independent time and you prefer making decisions on your own and you'd rather not spend the holidays at your in-laws, then you're probably a good candidate for living single." "Some people simply know they want to stay single," New York–based relationship expert and author April Masini tells Bustle.
"They enjoy the freedom, and they don’t have any anxiety about missing out on being part of a couple," she says.
Or even that you're not cut out for a relationship at this very moment, but you still are the settling-down type, and will be ready for that sooner or later. What are the types of personalities that are just better suited for going it alone?"If you’re single, happy and have no regrets, it was meant to be." As other experts say, it really is this straightforward."A desire not to be coupled, and to be free, is an indication that someone would do best single," Masini says. I’ve spent the past three years dating as a single mom – including a year-long relationship—and let me tell you something: there is no better time than to date than as a single mom. When I was dating in my twenties, I was looking for a husband with a healthy set of testicles with which to sire children. The pressure is off as a single mom.…and that makes you a delight to be around. So many disappointments, self-blame, and broken hearts. Since becoming a single mother I have found that I am so much less judgmental of myself. 1) you became a parent, which will blow your mind, heart and life in incredible ways, and 2) you’ve found yourself single after a serious longterm relationship. I can check that off my life to-do list and look for a man for love or companionship or sex – or all three. This kindness bleeds into your other relationships. Being a single mom means that you have been through at least three life-altering experiences.
"[Women who are meant to stay single] do not feel like they are missing out on something — in fact, they often think everyone else is," Martinez says.