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If one of you earns much more than the other, this can also cause problems -- or if one of you doesn't want to work and the other doesn't like that.

These are the kinds of issues that need to be resolved BEFORE marriage.

Below are the major dating deal-breakers that I've found in my 45 years of counseling individuals and couples.

Sometimes you can tell right away whether someone smokes or drinks a lot or does drugs, but sometimes, this information takes time to emerge.

If you are a neat person, don't count on a messy person becoming neat, and if you are a messy person, don't count on the neat person relaxing their standards in this area. No matter how in love you are at the beginning, inevitably fears will emerge, such as fear of rejection/abandonment, and fear of engulfment/losing yourself.

One person's protective, controlling behavior sets off the other's protective, controlling behavior, and it isn't long before the in-love feelings start to diminish.

If both people are not deeply committed to their own learning and healing, one or both might run from the conflicts.

Before moving into committed relationship, it's a good idea to find out if your partner is a runner. It's All About Me - Not Listening It generally doesn't take long to determine if someone is a good listener, or if their conversation is always about them.

If you are neat and your partner is messy, or vise-versa, then you either need to have enough money to hire someone to clean up every day, or you need to reconsider the relationship.Everything is going great, until you run up against one or more of these deal-breakers.While many relationship issues can be healed within the relationship, there are some that are definite red flags.If not, you may need to walk away, since you can never be certain whether he or she will stop. If these behaviors are not OK with you, it is unlikely that the relationship will work.Remember, you get what you see -- not what the person tells you will happen in the future. Work If both of you have jobs that are very important to you, what would happen if one of you got a great job offer in another city?

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