There should never be the assumption that we should pay for a date with our bodies. For example, if I say that I’m at the gym, there’s no need to ask for a hot, sexy, sweaty, cute gym pic. And I’m just not the kind of woman who takes pictures of myself at the gym.And there should never be verbal abuse that results from refusing to participate in sexting or phone sex or an assignation of any kind. That is nearly a direct quote from one of my matches. I’m actually there to work out, to get in good shape, to improve myself.We need to stop being part of the problem and become part of the solution to our dating woes.We’ll never be able to control the actions of others, but we’ll at least know that we’re being honest, direct and kind in our own relationships. Equity, respect, chivalry, honesty—none of this is too much to ask for, and we’re all capable of doing our part to set the standard for our dating experiences.One of my girlfriends even shared that she thought a guy she went on a date with was “too nice.” I asked her to explain and she said, “He got me flowers, I hate flowers. I would love to get flowers from a man, even if they weren’t my favorite. So many of us complain that we have a hard time finding a “nice guy,” yet when one literally appears we complain he’s trying too hard. Here are six ways to know if he’s being a gentleman or if he’s as thirsty as the Sahara Desert.And he pulled out my chair for me like we are living in the 1950’s! Nice Guy: He may be sending a good morning text to everyone on his contact list.Many women confuse a man’s good manners with being “thirsty.” I have heard numerous men complain about this – how they are polite to a woman and said woman gets pissed off.She thinks he’s another thirsty man dying for some attention, or that he’s trying to get in her pants. Where can I find this guy so he can take out on a date?! What’s crazy is that this mentality is common among women.
We have busy lives, and we can only be so interesting when we’re the only ones making the effort.So don’t expect to be dazzled if you’re not putting in any effort on your side. But we should be direct, particularly about our intentions.So much of online dating seems to be about getting, and keeping, someone’s attention and that’s understandable since it’s unlikely we’re the only person they’re interacting with in the land of online dating. We should just make sure our expectations our realistic. If we just want to have lots of sex with strangers, say that.I was once accused of spending my time talking to a bunch of other people and ignoring a message when in reality I just had work and children to take care of and hadn’t had a chance to respond yet. There are always people who are going to be cool with that.So it’s important that we all remember that we each have busy lives and to allow time and space for that. If we want a relationship, we should say that, too. I’m not saying we should over-disclose to strangers, but we should operate at a basic level of honesty.
I’ve met some wonderful men and enjoyed some interesting dates.